I remind myself of who I want to be
Even though I know I have every right to feel the way I feel and let the tears run miles
I have a hard time allowing myself to do so
My heart literally aches, I can feel it pumping harder than ever before
I sit here and my entire body shakes
My mind races, going over what happened a million times
Going over your reasons, your old lies, and your new pleas...
I can't get my mind to understand how you could do it
Wasn't I there, in the back of your head? in that spot in ur heart I thought i held?
Wasn't I there...
how could you? really ... how?
I treated you like a king... I did everything for you...Where did I lose you?
I randomly feel my heart start beating slower
Then it rapidly picks up and SLAMS against my chest
how could you do it?
how could she possibly be worth it?
Everything we had... were gonna have
I woulda made the best Mrs. but you didn't give me the chance.
I try to be strong
Not to cry
but the tears run down so fast I can't even catch them...
how did you look me in the eyes and swear you loved me?
How did you constantly try to blame me for things when you KNEW i was right?
Why would you hurt me like that?
What did I do?
I was ur angel right?
Then why? how?
I guess this is part of life
This is how people are
But do you really understand? do you understand what you've done?
You took a good girl, and broke her... for what? a slut?
Why did you pretend to be such a nice guy?!?!
Why was it necesary to fool me for so long?
How did you think I deserved that?
No matter how empty I feel inside I will not allow you to change who I am
No matter how broken my heart is, I will not allow it to remain that way
I will put myself back together
with the things i've learned from your heartless soul
And I will be stronger... Harder to break
In 3 days I have already proven to myself what a great woman I have become
and I suppose that will keep me going
I thought when this day came, I would do something spiteful and immature
But I have no desire to do it now
Hurting you will not make me feel better
It will only put me on your level
And we both know I don't belong down there
I stood up for you so many times
Argued with people when they told me the kind of boy you were
because I had hope, I thought I'd be that girl that changed you, that you couldn't help but fall for... I guess somethings you can't change.
I'll pray for you
Because you need help
To ruin something so special
Don't you see, God was trying to help you, by giving you me?
I know God knew I would pull myself through this if it ended badly
That's why he sent me to you...
I know he knew it would make me stronger
and eventually protect my future...
but I do worry, what did it do for you?
I can't help but feel sorry for you
You have to live with knowing you ruined us...
You ruined your chance with me...
and there is NOTHING you can do about it....
This WILL make me stronger
It frees me from the burden of loving you unconditionally
I can do ME now
but even though now my future may seem brighter
the present is distorted by the raindrops from my eyes.
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